Penny Stones Blog
Archive for the ‘kids’ Category
Sunday, June 20th, 2010
I’ve been keeping a little journal of quotes. Whenever one of our kids (one girl and two boys) gives us their version of the English language, I write it down so we can remember it. Here are some of my favorites:
“No comments from the popcorn gallery, please.” ~ 10-year old daughter
“You wanna piece of me?” ~ five-year old son as he’s playing a video game
“”I was really starving for my blanket last night.” ~ five-year old son
When our five-year old son was complimented for reading a hard word he said “Oh, I just rememberized it.”
“I’m just like a dinosaur oncologist! I have five books on dinosaurs!” ~ six-year old son
“What’s a time frame? I’ve never seen one before.” (thinking it’s like a picture frame…) ~ six-year old son
When asked how God made a woman, our six-year old son said “He pulled a ribbon out of his pocket.”
“I want to play ‘Corn in the Cobs’” (instead of Corn Hole) ~ six-year old son
“I’m full. Can I have some ice cream?” ~ six-year old son
“We only learn stuff so teachers have somethin’ to do.” ~10-year old daughter
Out to lunch with Papa, Mommy asked her sons to share their sundaes. The older brother replied, “You can have one bite of mine, but you can have as many as you want from my brother!”
Tags: communication, conversation, family, kids, parenting
Posted in Uncategorized, children, communication, family, family relationships, favorites, kids, parenting | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
“Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend’s success.”- Oscar Wilde
Tags: communication, conversation, family, friendship, friendship quotes, kids, listening, listening skills, moms, parenting, Quotes, relationships, success
Posted in Conversations, Quotes, friendship, kids, parenting, relationships | 8 Comments »
Monday, October 19th, 2009
Argument to Beethoven\’s 5th
Conflicts are a part of life that many people would rather avoid. And I always found this odd. Maybe it’s because my family never shied away from conflict. We addressed problems right away and head-on. I learned how to deal with conflicts in a way that was emotionally safe. I learned the value of listening to another’s perspective and working through differences. After a conflict, I would sometimes feel closer to the person because we came together, worked through the issue, addressed hurt feelings and let each other know how much we care.
As I’ve gotten older and been exposed to other ways of handling conflict, I’ve come to realize that people approach conflicts with different objectives. The two primary goals I’ve experienced are to put the relationship first or to put being ”right” first.
Being Right
When a person has a conflict and they want to be seen as “right”, or the “winner”, they can often win the battle but lose the war. Being right and/or placing blame seems to be more important than resolving the conflict. While it may be unintentional, this approach communicates to the other party that the issue, or their pride, is more important than the relationship. Ultimately, this approach breaks trust. Apologies and humility are generally not a part of this approach. The hurt feelings stay hurt and often resentment builds up. After this type of conflict, the relationship usually becomes weaker. The parties learn it’s not safe to bring up a conflict. Offenses remain unspoken. And when they finally are spoken, a flood of emotion can erupt.
Relationship
In this approach, the person values the relationship more than the issue. Each side listens to the other and usually tries to make sure they understand what the other is trying to say. Often, they both apologize because feelings on both sides are often hurt. Being ”right” is secondary to making sure the relationship is back on solid ground. This approach usually builds trust. The relationship often becomes stronger after this type of conflict because the parties know it’s safe to bring up a problem or conflict and they feel valued. Eruptions usually don’t take place because conflicts are dealt with right away.
The next time you have a conflict, try to figure out what you want your objective to be before approaching the other person. In general, I try to reconcile rather than resolve my conflicts (reconcile: focus on the relationship, resolution: focus on the problem). It’s helped me to keep the relationships with my loved ones to be strong, open, healthy and loving.
Tags: conflict, conflict resolution, conversation, family, good listener, parenting, talk
Posted in Conversations, conflict, conflict resolution, family, friends, kids, parenting, relationships | No Comments »
Tuesday, October 13th, 2009
My family was just highlighted on NPR in a segment focusing on how families are dealing with the economy. You can listen to it here. My husband works in Washington D.C during the week and comes home to a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio on the weekends. It’s a one-year contract with the VA.
We’re thankful he has a job and we’ve created different ways to stay connected while we’re apart. Here are some:
- “Look What I Did This Week” bag – filled with pictures and papers that come home from school
- Tuck-in Routine – Every night, I would sing them their song and Daddy would say prayers. This hasn’t changed. Each child talks to Daddy on the phone and lets him know the happenings of their day, and then they pray.
- Texts – Daddy sends texts and the kids have become comfortable sending Daddy messages.
- Pictures – We send photo messages as well as videos when speical occasions come up that Daddy has to miss.
It’s not easy and there have been a few times when I REALLY wished he was home, but overall, his job is a blessing. It has allowed us to stay in our home and not have to change our lifestyle too much. But we’re all looking forward to February, 2010, when his contract is up and he’ll (hopefully) find a job in Cleveland. If you know of anyone looking for a great Senior Project Manager in the Cleveland market, please let me know!
Tags: commuting, conversation, family, kids, moms, parenting, relationships, talk, tips
Posted in family, interviews, kids, parenting, press, relationships | 1 Comment »
Monday, October 5th, 2009
As parents, we want to prepare our kids for the challenges they will face. But it’s not always easy to know just what to say. Some topics are more difficult to discuss than others. The website Talk with Your Kids is dedicated to helping parents talk to their kids”…before everyone else does”.
Here are 10 tips for talking with kids about tough issues. Click here for the whole article.
1. Start Early
2. Initiate Conversations With Your Child
3. …Even about Sex and Relationships
4. Create an Open Environment
5. Communicate your values
6. Listen to Your Child
7. Try to be Honest
8. Be Patient
9. Use Everyday Opportunities to Talk
10. Talk About it Again. And Again.
Tags: conversation, conversation starters, family, kids, parenting, talk, tips, topics
Posted in Conversations, Small Talk, conversation starters, family, kids, parenting, relationships | No Comments »
Saturday, October 3rd, 2009
Talking is easy and we often take the skills of conversation for granted. But what’s involved in being a good listener? Active listening skills involve:
- Paying attention without distractions and maintaining eye contact
- Reflecting what is heard (This involves using similar words to express back to the speaker what was understood about the content of the message.)
- Showing empathy by identifying with the other’s feelings
- Listening with an open mind in order to understand another person’s point of view
From the Spring 2009 Penny Stones newsletter
Tags: communication, conversation, family, good listener, interviews, listening, listening skills
Posted in Conversations, Small Talk, ice breakers, icebreakers, interviews, kids, parenting, relationships, support groups, supports groups | No Comments »
Thursday, October 1st, 2009
I was clicking around the blog world and happened upon this neat little list of conversation starters in the Dream Dinner Blog
“If your family is like ours, you may work hard to create a family dinner time routine, or other family activity (”forced family fun” as our oldest calls it), and then realize that you are not sure what to talk about. There are many resources in print and on the internet that have conversation starters for families.
Here are few:
- What is one thing you couldn’t live without?
- What cartoon character would you most like to be? Why?
- What is the hardest/best thing about being ___ years old?
- Describe your all-time best day ever.
- What would be the worst job/profession to have?
- What should a parent do when a child doesn’t listen?
- Where would be the best place in the whole world to take a family vacation?
- Would you rather dive off a huge cliff, or give a book report in front of the whole school?
Even if these don’t spark a lengthy conversation, they will at least get the group started. It is important that each family gets a turn to talk without fear of interruption. Don’t worry if every child isn’t old enough to participate. The language stimulation for the little ones will be wonderful! Don’t forget to have the adults answer also! It may be necessary to start a rule that no one is allow to make fun of someone else’s answer. That way there is a feeling of safety for everyone to speak, whether they are two or fifty two. You may be surprised by some of the things you hear your children say!” Post from Dream Dinners blog
Tags: children, communication, communication skills, conversation, conversation starters, family, family relationships, ice breakers, icebreakers, interpersonal skills, kids, listening, listening skills, parenting, relationships, talk
Posted in Conversations, children, communication skills, conversation starters, family, family relationships, ice breakers, icebreakers, interpersonal skills, kids, parenting | 12 Comments »
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
“Good communication skills and techniques are mostly the result of learned behavior. The examples we are given as children at home, at school and with our friends has a great deal to do with how we develop in this area. Generally, and in simplest terms, the better those around us communicate as we are growing up, the better the skills we develop. Because we have very little control over that when we’re young, we are not all on equal footing starting out. Luckily, it’s never too late to make improvements (nor is it too late to forward this blog to your parents, who might benefit from it as well!).” – from Stephanie Silverman’s Blog, click here to see the whole article.
Tags: communication, communication skills, conversation, family, family relationships, interpersonal skills, kids, listening skills, parenting, relationships
Posted in Conversations, Quotes, communication skills, conversation starters, family, family relationships, ice breakers, icebreakers, interpersonal skills, kids, parenting, relationships | 6 Comments »
Monday, September 28th, 2009
Today is a relatively new holiday: Family Day – A Day to Eat Dinner with Your ChildrenTM. It is a national movement to inform parents that the parental engagement fostered during frequent family dinners is an effective tool to help keep America’s kids substance free. Family Day reminds parents that Dinner Makes A Difference!
It started in 2001 as a grass roots movement and has grown to become a nationwide celebration. In fact, in 2008 President Bush, all 50 Governors and more than 800 Mayors and County Executives proclaimed and supported Family Day!
Plan to spend tonight with your family, eating, talking and connecting around the dinner table.
Tags: communication, family, family relationships, kids, listening skills, parenting
Posted in Conversations, family, kids, parenting, relationships | No Comments »
Monday, September 21st, 2009
What percentage do you think the actual words count for in person-to-person communication?
a. about 50%
b. less than 5%
c. about 25%
d. over 75%
The answer is b, less than 5% of a person’s message is the actual words they say. So what makes up over 95%? According to communications research, it’s all the other variables going on around the words, especially the nonverbal communication: how close they stand (proxemics), eye contact, posture, body language, facial expressions, gestures, etc. The nonverbal communication is seen by most people as “more true” than the words.
I’ve explained this to my kids to help them understand that how they say something is often times more important than what they say, i.e. even though they said they were sorry to their sibling, the message they sent was that they were not sorry. Also, when there’s a misunderstanding, we try to ask, “What’s my point?” or “What am I trying to say?” to help insure that the message sent was the message received.
From the Spring 2009 Penny Stones Newsletter
Tags: children, communication, communication skills, family relationships, good listener, interpersonal skills, listening skills
Posted in Conversations, children, conversation starters, family, friends, kids, parenting, relationships | No Comments »
